What if I fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly?

What if I fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly?

I was seventeen years old when my grandmother pasted away. I just finished high school and started a new chapter in my life: traveling (and yes I know, who doesn’t right? I didn’t say  I am special haha). For many years I had been fantasising about the journeys I was going to make when I finally got the freedom to do so. I had the restless urge to find out what was behind that big comfortable bubble I grew up in the past seventeen years.

So the first thing I did after high school, I packed my bags and left for a three months adventure to Barcelona. But other destinations like California were on the top of my ‘to do’ list too. That year, what should had been the most awesome period in my life, turned out to be a ‘little bit’ different. When Nonna (my grandmother) left us, I lost it too for a little while. Nothing really dramatic, don’t you worry, but the timing could not had been worse for me.

297585_222717441119062_100001424229202_669907_1375223743_n

I was seventeen years old when my grandmother pasted away. I just finished high school and started a new chapter in my life: traveling (and yes I know, who doesn’t right? I didn’t say  I am special haha). For many years I had been fantasising about the journeys I was going to make when I finally got the freedom to do so. I had the restless urge to find out what was behind that big comfortable bubble I grew up in the past seventeen years.

So the first thing I did after high school, I packed my bags and left for a three months adventure to Barcelona. But other destinations like California were on the top of my ‘to do’ list too. That year, what should had been the most awesome period in my life, turned out to be a ‘little bit’ different. When Nonna (my grandmother) left us, I lost it too for a little while. Nothing really dramatic, don’t you worry, but the timing could not had been worse for me.

297585_222717441119062_100001424229202_669907_1375223743_n
Nonna

Looking back right now, I know she would be extremely proud. Because I am doing pretty great right now. I feel awesome and why shouldn’t I?  You could say I found my way. But.. again I felt the restless need to get out of the bubble.

So last year the word ‘exploring’ got a new dimension and I went overseas. I found a new home in a totally new country, far far away from my bubble. I already knew what Holland got to offer me, but what about Indonesia? I was just too curious about that. So when I got the opportunity, I packed my bag (yes again) and left for the summer. And the road didn’t stop there. I am so excited to find out what this place will bring MY ONE’S IN A LIFE TIME LIFE. Exciting..

You have to understand, Nonna was not a normal grandmother. Everybody who knew her, will directly confirm this is an understatement. Since I was born she lived with us so she was there all the way at all the milestones of my life and those of my brothers and sister. But our connection is what you could call special, a lot of love was definitely included. But.. If would lie if there wasn’t often arguments, fights and anger.

Why? Because Nonna is Nonna, sometimes (or a little bit more than sometimes) impossible to be around but we couldn’t life without her. An incredible strong, stubborn and independent lady. Who directly and indirectly thought me so many important things. One of them is the endless need to explore. Nonna was a FANTASTIC traveller, who saw many many places and explored around like a crazy person. That’s why it’s kind of ironic she was indirectly the reason I didn’t want to travel anymore. But after a few years of getting older, I realise that her passing away is precisely the moment I started exploring. Like a real granddaughter of Miss Hollander would do. Not the world, but just at home. Looking every challenge right in to the eyes. And learning to be fully comfortable with who you are. Because if you can’t love yourself, you can’t truly love someone else.

You have to understand, Nonna was not a normal grandmother. Everybody who knew her, will directly confirm this is an understatement. Since I was born she lived with us so she was there all the way at all the milestones of my life and those of my brothers and sister. But our connection is what you could call special, a lot of love was definitely included. But.. If would lie if there wasn’t often arguments, fights and anger.

Why? Because Nonna is Nonna, sometimes (or a little bit more than sometimes) impossible to be around but we couldn’t life without her. An incredible strong, stubborn and independent lady. Who directly and indirectly thought me so many important things. One of them is the endless need to explore. Nonna was a FANTASTIC traveller, who saw many many places and explored around like a crazy person. That’s why it’s kind of ironic she was indirectly the reason I didn’t want to travel anymore. But after a few years of getting older, I realise that her passing away is precisely the moment I started exploring. Like a real granddaughter of Miss Hollander would do. Not the world, but just at home. Looking every challenge right in to the eyes. And learning to be fully comfortable with who you are. Because if you can’t love yourself, you can’t truly love someone else.

Nonna

Looking back right now, I know she would be extremely proud. Because I am doing pretty great right now. I feel awesome and why shouldn’t I?  You could say I found my way. But.. again I felt the restless need to get out of the bubble.

So last year the word ‘exploring’ got a new dimension and I went overseas. I found a new home in a totally new country, far far away from my bubble. I already knew what Holland got to offer me, but what about Indonesia? I was just too curious about that. So when I got the opportunity, I packed my bag (yes again) and left for the summer. And the road didn’t stop there. I am so excited to find out what this place will bring MY ONE’S IN A LIFE TIME LIFE. Exciting..

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